My Me: How You See Me

***This was written on January 1, 2016***
***Inspired by Rachel SuperStarr Black***

Genesis 1:26-27: “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness…’ So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

All focus and attention is on me.
I’ve got the spotlight,
I’m in the center.
I’m within everyone’s sight.
I’m the presenter,
The opening,
The act,
And the rest;
Which is awful, considering I’m not looking my best.
What?
You don’t believe me?
You think I look well and fine?
My clothes and jewelry and face creates this false idea of “well and fine.”
You can look at me and say, “That person has style,”
But I ask you, can you identify my smile?
Any liveliness in my walk?
Do you see the smallest hint of joy in my eyes?
See, this style is a disguise.
I’m hiding from the lies
And cries
That I
Have to face everyday.
You see someone who’s really got it going on,
But I see the person I’ve been all along.
When I stare at the glass reflector,
I see shame.
I see despair.
I see ugliness.
I look into the soul of this person in the glass reflector and ask,
“How can anyone see someone who’s “well and fine?”
Are they blind?
No, they can see.
They just don’t know the real me,
The me I have to live with everyday of my life.
I know the lies I gave,
The mistakes I made.
This awful load I’m carrying weighs me down to the grave.
Or, I wish it did.
I want to die.
I hate me.
Who could love someone like me?
Why would someone allow me to live?
Who in their right mind would make me,
Shape me,
Create me?
…Oh, that’s right.
God.
Jesus.
Lord, God above me,
Do You still love me?
How could Someone like You love someone like me?
I’m not “well and fine” like other people are.
I’ve shamed Your Name more times than I can count.
So, You can understand how I may have doubts
That Someone like You can love someone like me.
But You still made me, and allowed me to live.
What is it about me that You find so lovely?
What do You see when You look at me?
It can’t be what I see.
Is it my soul?
My spirit?
My talents, my heart, my mind?
What is it that You see that I don’t? Am I blind?
Show me, God.
Let me see me that way You do.
Help me love me the way You intended me to.
Who am I? What am I in You?
I’m tired of seeing myself as ugly and dumb!
That’s not how You made me!
That’s not who You see!
That’s not who I am!
I am a child of Jesus the King!
No attire or style or material things
Can make me any greater than I am!
God, I am Yours!
You made me strong!
You made me bold!
You made me excellent!
Smart!
Successful!
Gorgeous!
Talented!
Victorious!
I am Yours! Now I see
How You see me.

(c) January 2016, B.I.B. Productions
(P) BOOYIKA!, Inc.