Truth Be Told

***This was written on November 2, 2015***
***Dedicated to Fatima Imani Smith, Leslie Parker Barnes, and Benjamin Isaiah Black***

My talents. Opportunities. My future. My dreams.
There’s no hope for any of them, or, at least, that’s how it seems.
Tears run down my face like water runs down a stream.
Truth be told, I’m afraid.

What if I attempt this ambitious feat, and I fall, I fail?
I don’t know if I can handle that, my heart is so frail.
Please forgive me – I don’t mean to whine and wail,
But, truth be told, I’m afraid.

What’ll happen if I don’t succeed? If my dreams don’t come true?
If my plans were all for naught, what will I do?
Should I just give up now and bid my goals adieu?
Maybe so. Truth be told, I’m afraid.

God, I know this is Your Will, and it’s You I serve,
But shouldn’t this go to someone else, more prepared and deserved?
My knees are knocking! My heart is pounding! Do You see my nerves?
Truth be told, Jesus, I’m afraid.

But who am I to deny Your Will?
And if You want this, why don’t I rely on Your skill?
How about You be God and I be still?
Maybe then, truth be told, I won’t feel so afraid.

You trusted me with this, so why should I fear?
By Your tongue, this was predestined long before I made it here.
Renew Your Joy in my spirit and speak Peace in my ear.
Truth be told, I don’t have to be afraid.

If the same God with all power in His Hands lives inside of me,
Then there isn’t anything in His Name I can’t achieve.
Give me Your strength to stand tall and walk with authority.
Truth be told, I’m not afraid.

Do not be afraid, for the Lord is on your side!
He gave you a spirit of power and love and a sound mind!
Praise Him, for the things ahead are great than the things behind!
Truth be told, you don’t need to be afraid!

(c) November 2015, B.I.B. Productions
(P) BOOYIKA!, Inc.

Distant

***This was written on November 1, 2015***

Hey God. It’s me writing You another letter,
Though I wish this was under better circumstances. Much better.

I’m sorry. I know I’ve been here before.
I feel like I keep losing this internal spiritual war.

I feel distant from You, Lord. Instead of Your Grace,
I feel this void between us, a great amount of space.

Why do I feel so distant from You?
Was it something I said? What did I do?

This distance makes me feel lost, living without a guide.
I have no life, I feel dead inside.

I’ve allowed worldly things to consume my soul.
They’ve taken the place of You. I’m no longer whole.

Only You make me feel complete. You are my light.
Without You, Jesus, my days are as dark as night.

I need You – I want You in my life everyday.
I will worship You, I’ll praise You, I’ll fast, I’ll pray.

Just like I need You every second to complete an action,
You deserve my everything, all of me, not just a fraction.

Please forgive me, Father. I need Your Hand.
I can’t live without You. I don’t exist. I can’t stand.

Bring me closer. Transform me. I need to be renewed.
Jesus, the only One I need, all I want is You.

(c) November 2015, B.I.B. Productions
(P) BOOYIKA!, Inc.

Journal Entry – The Future

***This was written on October 28, 2015***

My Me,
How’s it going, Bro. B.I.B.? Are you doing alright? Are you smiling? How’s your relationship with God? Do you remember who He is and what He’s able and willing to do?
As of now, it’s been almost 6 months since graduation. I know things have not been going according to plan. You don’t have a job, you don’t have much money, and you’ve only had a couple of gigs. You still want to be out of this house this time in 2 years, but you don’t have money for food right now, let alone money for a can and an apartment. You have a girlfriend who you’re madly in love with and want to take care of. I know I am you, and I know this will be an old letter the next time you read this – despite how soon that will be. But you know that I want to help people, and one of the best ways I can do that is by helping myself. Do, here’s what I’m going to tell you:
First of all, don’t you ever forget about Jesus. Call out His Name. Shout it as loud as you need to. Always seek Him, pursue Him, and increase your knowledge and understand of Him. When your situations are the darkest, that’s when your faith in God has to shine the brightest. Never stop praising Him. Don’t you dare stop worshipping Him. Sing unto Him. Believe in Him. Grow in Him.
Second of all, don’t doubt yourself. Don’t stop believing in yourself. If the same Jesus who can do anything but fail lives in you, don’t you dare think for a second that you’re going to fail! You are talented! You are smart! You are strong! Live like you are! Act like you are! Look in the mirror every day and every night and proclaim blessings over yourself! And go ahead and smile while you’re at it!
Third of all, where are you going? What are you doing? What do you want to achieve? You have to know that in order to know what to do next. The ultimate goal is to own your own production company, right? You want to star in, write, produce, direct, and own your own plays, films, and web and TV shows, right? OK, so how can we get there? Write down your dream, and write out a plan to get there. It’ll take some thinking, but you can do it. Get started on that soon – today!
Bro. B.I.B., God has great things in store for you. Lift up your head. Don’t stop looking to your Savior. He’s got you in the palm of His Hand. You will get there! You are there! Do me a favor, look around at your surroundings. Now praise your Jesus!

Love,

Benjamin Isaiah Black

(c) October 2015, B.I.B. Productions
(P) BOOYIKA!, Inc.

Puzzle Piece

***This was written on October 5, 2015***

Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thought that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (NKJV)

I’m like a puzzle piece, so odd and misshaped.
I don’t know where or why to go.
I’m like a puzzle piece, I feel so misplaced.
Where do I belong? I don’t know.

I see other pieces, yes, but I feel so alone;
They know the purpose they’re supposed to serve.
Mine hasn’t been made known to me, its reveal’s been postponed.
Can you share this information you’ve preserved?

I’m like a puzzle piece. I know I shouldn’t be here,
But I don’t know which way I’m supposed to turn.
What would it matter if I just disappeared?
It’s not like I’d gain sympathy or concern.

I thought I knew my purpose. Now I’m not so sure.
This frustration’s robbed me of my joy and peace.
I’m sick of this depression, and I need a cure.
Please offer guidance to this poor puzzle piece.

If You know all things, You ought to show me the way –
The direction, the road I’m supposed to follow.
I’m trying to believe in You and follow You every day,
Yet this constant confusion brings me doubt and sorrow.

Why would You make me like this? Why would You put me here?
What do You want me to do?
You said not to worry about tomorrow – tell me why I shouldn’t fear
When it doesn’t seem like I’ll find my place anytime soon.

Because like a puzzle piece, I have a Maker who designed me;
He knows all His creations by shape and name.
He hasn’t forgotten the mission He assigned me.
Whether now or later, I’ll fulfill it all the same.

Like a puzzle piece, I do have a place where I belong,
Somewhere my Creator wants me to be.
I thought I was small and insignificant, but I was important all along.
My Maker saw what I couldn’t see.

To those who feel they don’t fit in the grand schemes of life,
Your faith in God and yourself daily decreases,
Rather than accepting defeat and having depression and strife,
Just remember you’re one of God’s puzzle pieces.

(c) October 2015, B.I.B. Productions
(P) BOOYIKA!, Inc.