***This was written on October 7, 2014***
The air in my lungs is gone
My heart no longer beats
The feeling in my body is absent
I am cold as ice
I have no soul
No control over the darkness that surrounds me
This deadly plague that bounds me
I am condemned to a prison with no air
No warmth, no care
No windows or light that I may see at night
I am bound, yet there are no walls
I am caged, but there aren’t any bars
I lower my head and accept the truth:
I am dead
That is what I am without You
What is life if You are not here?
What is its worth if You’re not near?
Every morning I open my door to be greeted by depression
And I must make the confession that I want to die
Because living without You is like waking up to a morning where the sun forgot to rise,
Walking through the forest, and the birds deny you their chirping and singing
Not being able to hear the most pleasant chimes ringing
Playing a song with no music, but its lyrics so abusive
Going through an entire year in which the seasons never change,
It’s always the same
And it drains the life from me to live without You
(c) October 2014, B.I.B. Productions
(P) BOOYIKA!, Inc.
***This was written on September 5, 2008***
Hey God, it’s me, Bro. B.I.B. again.
I don’t mean to bother You
But there’s something I just gotta ask You
I stop and ask myself this question all the time
Lemme stop and ask You this:
Who am I that You’re gonna use to do great things?
I know that You created me to go out into the world and do great things in Your Name
I know that I am Your workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works
I know God prepared me beforehand that I should walk in them
You gave me these talents and gifts for a reason
But who am I to do the great things You plan me to do?
Jesus, tell me, Man, please! What is stopping me from believing that I’m far from being great!
I know it’s what I should be! It’s what I’m being called to be! It’s what I’m supposed to be!
But God, I’m a nobody!
I love You, but not like I should.
I pray the same prayer every night after asking You to forgive me of the same sin every day.
I judge Your people by their appearances and actions, therefore preventing Your Love from being spread.
I’m prideful, and think of me and not You.
Out of ALL of the MANY enabled bodies on this planet,
Why in the world did You choose me of all people to give this blessing to?
Who am I to bless people? To touch people? To reach people?
I’m not perfect! It seems like the more I try to be like You, the less I appear to be like You!
I’ve been told to trust You, but my heart prevents me from doing so!
I try to love everyone, but my eyes blind me from anything except outward appearances!
I want to please You, but I fear that I continue to make You frown.
Why am I, Benjamin Isaiah Black, Bro. B.I.B., called for excellent things?
Who am I to do these things that You’re calling me to do?
I’m not saying that I don’t want to do those excellent things—I do!
I can’t wait for that excellent life that I’m destined to live!
But it’s hard for me to see how I’m going to be those things.
If this is really for me, help me believe it.
Help me see it.
I have to know.
Let me know that You WILL use me
Despite what I do, what I say, how I act, what I look like, and everything else!
When I start to feel discouraged and begin to mourn
Because I can’t see the future You have waiting for me
Just touch me, and let me know that You are there for me
Remind me what Your Word says, and that I am created to do Your work
Comfort me, and bring a smile to my face and Joy to my heart.
Thank You Father!
In Jesus’ Name I pray, thank God, praise God, bless God,
(c) September 2008, B.I.B. Productions
(P) BOOYIKA!, Inc.