Unbelief

***This was written on July 3, 2015***
***Inspired by Pastor Diana Swoope***

Mark 9:22-24 22 “…But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” 23 And Jesus said to him, “You say, ‘If You can.’ All things are possible to him who believes.” 24 Immediately, crying out, the father of the child said, “I believe; help me with my unbelief!” (Recovery Version)

When I close my eyes, I see it.
As I’m sleeping, I dream it.
I know I want to be it.
God gave me this vision for a reason;
But then I rise from my bed
I study my surroundings.
I contemplate my current state –
This space that I’ve been placed in;
And I wonder
How can this dream of mine come true?
This dream – this vision I’ve had since I was a boy;
The thought that made me smile when I longed for joy;
This thing that I’m most passionate about.

You are great and strong.
You can do no wrong.
You are full of power.
Your Name is a strong tower.
You are incredibly mighty.
Your presence stays with us daily and nightly.
No one is above You.
No one is in place of You.
There is nothing You can’t do.
There’s no such thing as impossible for You.
I’ve heard this all my life, since I was young.
It’s nothing for these words to be spoken by my tongue.
But for some reason,
My mind sends my heart a contradictory message.
Your Word says, “I can do all things through Christ…”
Which is why I try to be perfect, because my excuses won’t suffice.
Your Word says, “Know that I am with you always…”
But I know I’ve sinned enough to keep you away.
Your Word says, “Greater is He who is in me…”
But my greatness and worth are the size of a flee.
These contradictions reside in the back of my mind, like houseflies in July.
What happened to this Gospel given to me as a boy?
Have I had it for too long? Did I get comfortable with worldly joys?
I was told You can make a way out of no way.
There hasn’t been a day Your works hadn’t phased me – amazed me!
You held the sun and placed it where it needed to be.
You grew the mountains and poured water in the sea.
You made the stars twinkle, You gave the moon shape.
You’re the great Architect, designing the world’s landscape.
From nothing, You made oceans, space, and land.
It seems so large, yet You hold it all in Your Hand.
Not even death held You back from being strong and mighty!
So why do I doubt You can do something miraculous in me?
Through me?
With me?
If the same God who conquered death resides in me,
Shouldn’t that diminish my impossibilities and insecurities?
My mind still has that doubt.
I’ve tried to get it out of my mind.
I know You can do anything,
But my unbelief causes me to doubt me.

Jesus, save me from my unbelief.
Rescue me from my inner doubts and fears.
Help me, Lord.
Help my faith grow.
I believe You can.
Help me with my unbelief.

(c) July 2015, B.I.B. Productions
(P) BOOYIKA!, Inc.

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